50 plays

dampsandwich:

pancakes always sound like a great idea until you eat one and realize you definitely don’t want the other 3 sitting on your plate

nosdrinker:

everyone who likes coconut water is lying

yasserkhan:

Its amazing what a man wearing a suit can do to a woman’s hormones

sniperj0e:

"date a girl who reads!!", "brainy is the new sexy!", "bigger books are better than bigger boobs!"

oh shut the fuck up

date a person who makes you smile, who makes you snort soda out of your nose and still thinks your laugh is cute

not based on how many john green novels they’ve read or episodes of sherlock they’ve watched you petty little fucks

bombing:

turns out a creampie isn’t a pastry and the internet is a disgusting place